Home for the Holidays

Cooper was able to be home for the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was a wonderful time. It was a surprise bonus time we got to have because of Covid and the shutdowns in Minnesota were a bit more extreme than in North Carolina. We enjoyed having him back home and seeing how he has grown up into a young man. The only thing I have disapproved of since he has left has been his taste of music. I am not sure what that is even called.

He was greeted by a wet slobbery kiss and Rocky was so excited to see him he jumped into the van when we got home. 

We were able to go to the zip line park and had a great day!

At first he was doing his laundry and keeping his room picked up but that quickly fell by the wayside but I didn't mind. I just was happy to have him back home and I took care of it again. Give him a break and let him be 14 again and spend time with his brothers and enjoy being home. 

He was able to log into school and be remote. It was just like last year but his year he's got a "real teacher" not mom. 

The shut down up north was frustrating and pushed the hockey season back yet again. Ice rinks closed even outdoor rinks. The gyms were closed again. The great thing for him he didn't lose anytime. He was able to come home and skate here and see some friends. He got to catch up with his old coach a bit. He was on the ice pretty much everyday and met a lot of other people in the same boat who were home from prep schools. We were able to workout together again and go running. I had missed my running buddy and workout partner! It was great to see him so committed. He didn't miss a day of running or working out. It was still nice weather here so he was still able to be outside. Finally the tarp we had hung up in the garage was getting used for hockey pucks. He and his brothers would go out there at night and just hang out. I missed seeing them together! They miss him when he is gone just as much as I do. They loved having him home.

We had a great Christmas together. Finally a Christmas at home. We haven't had that in five years or so. We had always travelled for hockey holiday tournaments in Canada or back to Minnesota for family Christmas. It was a nice relaxed Christmas morning opening gifts and dinner with friends before heading back. 

We had a great time but he is ready to be back. He misses his friends and hockey in Minnesota. That has now become his "home".  His life is up there now. He has made a couple of real close friends. He has learned some hard life lessons at 14 that relationships change over time and some people will always be there for you and some won't. He will find throughout school and hockey relationships are ever changing. You find out who you're true friends are over time.  He has learned so much over this year that will be lessons he will have to learn throughout his life. On top of being a hard year during Covid the adversities he has had to overcome will make him one strong, determined, and mature 14 year old. 

Update

 Just thought I would give an update on my journey through this new chapter...

It has been 3 1/2 months now and one quarter of school in the books as a freshman. I can't even begin to explain how proud I am. He moved into his aunt's house with two elementary aged kids, 1100 miles away from home and his family during a national health pandemic. He had to navigate starting a new school, which was only in session in-person for two days a week, while the other two days a week distance learning at home, make new friends. All while playing hockey, finding rides on his own, working out at the gym 3-4 days a week and navigating being on his own and being responsible for himself. He has learned how to do his own laundry, keep his room clean, sometimes helps his cousins with their homework, make his own food and clean up, and still being dedicated to hockey with shooting pucks and stickhandling when he can. He also has found that he is pretty fast and has been running a lot. I guess he is going to beat me now out on the trails.  I think he has adjusted to the move really good and he loves being in Minnesota. He has met some wonderful kids and made some good friends. He got to play and get in 20 games in the fall and was on the ice 4-5 times a week which was great considering the state of sports right now and he has progressed nicely. He had to adjust to the speed of the game and has gotten used to the size of the kids. It is different then he is used to but all good. Now we wait to see what is going to happen with the High School season.

Then there's me...

I am finding it was a bit harder...I will say when I hear his voice and see him smiling it makes me happy. As long as he's happy I am happy. But I miss him terribly. The first couple weeks, I cried everyday I'm not going to lie. I couldn't sleep and I still have a hard time sleeping soundly. There is just a different vibe in the house and his brothers had to find a new normal without him here. It has gotten a little bit better over time and Facetime helps but it isn't the same. We all knew it was going to be an adjustment but it has been harder for us then him. We have taken turns to go visit. My family is liking the regular trips back home to see family more often. 

I haven't really found a new routine since he's been gone. My life was so scheduled around his hockey and I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing. My oldest is self sufficient and doing online distance learning for high school and my youngest is at school all day everyday. At least my youngest son started Lacrosse and that just finished for the fall and my oldest had baseball for about a month. I went from being a homeschool mom with a busy hockey schedule to laying in bed until noon wondering what I should do for the day. I run 4-5 miles everyday and that's the only thing on my schedule. I am going to have to try to find things to keep me busy again. Maybe like getting back to writing. 

So all is good in Minnesota and all is good in North Carolina. We are making it work so far so good. I am proud of how he has transitioned so well.

 

A New Path

I watched him as we drove away from my parents with tears rolling down the side of my cheek behind my big black sunglasses. The soul-crushing sadness washed over me. Then I couldn’t stop crying. The flood gates opened. I thought, I’m not sure I can do this. Before we left he turned around one last time and gave me a big hug, and with his dimpled smile he said, “don’t cry, I’ll be ok.” I didn’t want to let go! He’s still my boy! My heart was in my throat when we pulled away. I wanted to run to him and hug him and never let go. 

There was so much I wanted to say . . .

I wanted to tell him just one more time how much I loved him and how proud I was. 

I wanted to tell him how smart he was and he will do great. Don’t procrastinate. 

I wanted to tell him to be a good teammate, keep a good head on his shoulders, and be respectful. Keep challenging himself and others around you to be better. 

I wanted to tell him I was sorry for all the mistakes I had made as his mother. I tried my best, yet there were so many times I struggled and felt as if I had failed him.

I wanted to tell him make sure he calls his dad. He’d like to hear from him. He’s still gonna need his dad! This is hard on him too!

I wanted to remind him to make good choices and have fun. He’s only 14 and so much more to learn. Whose gonna teach him things that I’m supposed to. 

I wanted to tell him to find his tribe of friends that will last a lifetime. The kind that will tell you when you mess up and stand up for you. 

I wanted to tell him to be careful and to never get in the car with someone who had been drinking. Do not go to parties that’s asking for trouble. Don’t ever drink or take drugs. There’s no such thing as I’ll try it just this once. 

I wanted to tell him that I believe in him and I pray for all of his dreams to come true. And it’s ok for you to pray too. Always can talk to God. Keep your faith.

I wanted to remind him to be kind and respectful and help others. He knows the right thing to do. 

I wanted to tell him to be humble and honest, to work hard and dream big. It’ll be hard but it’s not always easy to fight for what you want but it’ll be worth it. 

I wanted to tell him to study hard and do his homework and not to eat pizza or ramen every night. That popcorn and Lucky Charms are not on the food pyramid. 

I wanted to remind him to clean his toilet and brush his teeth, take his vitamins, and help take the garage out. 

I wanted to remind him to turn off the stove when he was done cooking, never leave popcorn unattended in the microwave, and empty the dishwasher. 

I wanted to tell him girls might be more interested in him but he doesn’t really have time for a girlfriend that just make friends with them. Respect them. 

I wanted to tell him to sit with the lonely and stand up for what he believes in and to stay true to himself. Be real. Be authentic. Be you always! Always keep your sense of humor! 

I wanted to remind him that God is always with him and to let God’s light shine through him in all that he does. Be thankful for what talents God has given him. Honor him always. 

I wanted to tell him to have a blast, take risks, be bold and adventurous.

I wanted to tell him he’s a role model for his cousins. They will always look up to him and they will be your biggest fans.

I wanted to tell him how much his brothers are so very proud of him and they will miss him as much as I do! Always find time for each other and text or call them. 

I wanted to tell him it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to feel things but to find someone to confide in. It’s important to talk about how you feel. Your mental health is important too! It’s ok not to be ok sometimes. Life is hard sometimes.

I wanted to remind him that no matter how big he gets, I will always be his biggest fan even though I’m not in the stands, I’ll be cheering for him at every game!

I wanted to tell him, I’m his momma and no one can ever take my place and I will always worry about him because he’s supposed to still be at home in his room where I can tuck him in at night. 

I wanted to tell him to call me whenever he needs anything and I will miss our long hockey road trips discussing life and world problems. He can still call me at night to have those talks. 

I wanted to tell him enjoy this time because you can never get it back and one day it will be over! 

But I didn’t say any of those things to my son. Instead, I tried to mirror his small smile and wave good-bye as I watched a piece of my heart fade away . . . to start his new chapter. 

I closed my eyes and took a moment to embrace this overwhelming sadness in this bittersweet moment, marveling at how I could feel so lost yet so proud at the same time. At this point forward . . . life will be different in our house. Not bad, not worse . . . but never the same again. It will forever be coming and going and no longer staying. Having to repeatedly do this over and over. It will be recognizing that my son is growing up. It will be taking a step back . . . I can no longer control things in his life, but yet always be there for him if he needs me. It is letting go of that little boy who loved matchbox cars, playing hide and seek with his brothers, Legos and embracing the young man that he is now. He is ready I hope and this is his time to grow and shine and learn and thrive. 

As a mother, you spend your whole life preparing your child to leave you but that’s supposed to be at 18 but even then, and when that moment comes, it’s heartbreakingly amazing and awful at the same time.

As we make the long drive back home, my heart just aches. I know it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to admit this is hard. It’s okay to have a good cry. But I also know that I can’t stay in this place of sadness. I have to put on my big girl panties. I have to thank God for this glorious gift of motherhood that is both hard and beautiful. I have to keep moving forward with hope and gratitude for each day. I remind myself that I can do hard things. Philippians 4:13 

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

And I know I can because that is what motherhood is all about . . . surviving the hard, the messy, all the ordinary, all the beautiful, and heartbreaking moments. I’ve been doing this since the day he was born. Every milestone reached, a mothers heart aches. I will thank God for my son who will forever hold a piece of my heart wherever he may be. 

When we finally get home, I realize that we did it . . . I notice that my sadness has been replaced with a feeling of excitement and anticipation because I am already looking forward to that day when my son comes home and walks through my front door again and planning my next trip to see him. This is his path not mine. I have to get up everyday and be a mom to two other amazing boys because they need me too. Our house has become a little more patient, a little more kind and too quiet. Three boy house is now two... 

I may cry in the quiet and alone moments because it’s just what a mom does but we put that smile back on our face and go about our day. 

I left a piece of my heart in Minnesota when I moved away from home and now there is another piece of my heart left in Minnesota. Whoever said home is where the heart is wasn’t lying... 

I know it’ll get better and it’s really hard right now and I need to take one day at a time. 

I love you! 

I’ll always be behind you!!! 

Allison Jacobson 

Lump In My Throat

Everyday 

Chances

Chances come and chances go

Then before you know

there they go

I hope you know

Whatever road you follow

Whatever rollercoaster ride

I won’t be too far behind.

I think back and remember the days

You were a baby crawling on the floor

To a toddler hanging on the boards

Always behind you to pick you up when you fall

I’ve been doing it all along

I knew one day you would let go

But I would want more

More time to go through it

But you knew you could do it

on your own now

The chance came for you to choose

Either way we can’t lose

I think you are ready to take that step

A leap of faith and no regrets

Chances come and chances go

Then before you know

there they go

I hope you know

Whatever road you follow

Whatever rollercoaster ride

I won’t be too far behind.

You have been staring down the blue line

From the inside of the boards

Ever since you were three years old

Dad and I cheering you on from the stands

I hope you know

I’ll always be your biggest fan

Ever since the day

they laid you in my arms

you wrapped your little fingers around my hand

I knew God must have some big plans

Where does the time go

It slips way so fast

Like the sand in an hourglass

I know you want to walk through those doors

And want so much more

And see what this world has in store

They say it’s just a game

It’s not about your last name

It comes straight from the heart

That will not leave once it starts

It's not just a game

It's about the chances life brings

Chances that come along or roll away

Chances that what they are

Will be what they are supposed to be

Chances may be all your dreams

But you have to step out and see

It’s never say never

It's never looking back

There should be no regrets

Your possibilities are endless

Then I believe your expectations

Will lead you to amazing destinations

Listen to your heart and you will find

Something that fills you up inside

You can’t quit or give up something

You love

No matter how hard you try

It will always be a part of you

In your heart and on your mind

Chances come and chances go

Then before you know

there they go

I hope you know

Whatever road you follow

Whatever rollercoaster ride

I won’t be too far behind.

~Allison Jacobson

4-19-17

Through The Glass

(I read a slightly different piece and changed to fit my story) 

You can barely see him through the foggy glass of early morning hockey or late night practice. 

The familiar clicks of sticks on ice and pucks hitting the boards.  

And that familiar kind of grinding sound the skate blades make as he turns hard through the corners. 

And among all the foggy silhouettes, you see him. The skating style you could pick out from anywhere. The way he swings his arms. The way he digs and glides around the corners. 

To you it’s a kind of magic. That’s your kid out there. 

On the second warmup lap, a stick hits the glass and startles you. 

It’s him. And he wants to make sure you’re watching. He smiles and chuckles at the reaction. 

Sure he is older now. More independent. The teen years make you face your own mortality. You realize how quickly this time has gone by.

Maybe he makes you drop him off around the corner so his friends don’t see you. 

Maybe he rolls his eyes sometimes. 

But he still loves you. 

Needs you. 

And although he may never admit it, he cares that you’re watching. 

He wants you to see how good he’s doing. 

That you approve of him

That you’re proud of him. 

So you still matter so much. Even when you don’t feel like it. 

He is just figuring it out. And it’s hard to be half kid and half adult. You probably remember. 

So things come out sideways. 

But not right now. Not this moment right here. It’s always perfect. It’s his safe spot. 

As the game starts, there’s just a joy in how he plays. How he goes after the puck as if it’s the most important thing in the world. And it is. At least for now. 

Because this is the place we all come to share the dream. To feel alive. 

Maybe it’s just about doing something to be active. 

Maybe it’s social. Maybe it’s team. 

And maybe it’s the quiet hope we are all so fearful to admit. That desire to play in the big time, and be the heroes we so badly want to be. 

So the game goes like so many.  Frozen moments in time that weave together a lifetime of treasured memories. I’ll have them forever. 

Battles for the puck. Offsides more times than you ever want to count. Them someone takes a cheap shot and hurts your kid and momma bear comes out. Part of you hates it because he deserves better. 

And part of you shakes it off because you realize this is real life now. The world isn’t always so fair and kind. 

But we get the hell back up—when we refuse to quit—we’re taking a stand. You can’t stop me. Ever. 

And we’re saying we refuse to be broken by anything. 

That’s the amazing thing about hockey. In just one game, you’ve lived out an entire lifetime. 

Joy and pain. 

Hope and disappointment. 

And when everything goes exactly right, it’s magic. 

The cheers. 

The pride. 

The team. 

He knows all of that without saying a word. 

There’s a beauty so great when you take advantage of the gifts that are wrapped in so many frozen moments. This is the space where you feel everything. Absolutely everything. 

And as the game ends—as the handshake lines scatter and the sea of boys pours off the ice—you see him. 

Tired. Red-faced. Sweaty and exhausted. 

But there’s just something about that smile. 

You’ll never forget it. 

It says I love you and I’m proud and I’m happy in a way I can never shape with words. 

And when you can’t find the words, you know you’re in the presence of God that makes all of this so incredibly, heartwarmingly, bittersweet beautiful. 

It’s like he found a way to fly. 

All of it was worth it. 

The sweaty car rides, hockey bags, and broken sticks, thousands of miles, hours of window time, long talks about life, the ever revolving bank account, hotels, plane rides and bumps and bruises were all somehow worth it. 

Just to see that smile.

Keep flying and keep dreaming! 

Here we are 116th day

Yes still dealing with Coronavirus and on day 116 of the world being turned upside down. 

Pretty much tired of hearing about it. 

Praying everyday that vaccine will come. Then the vaccine comes then there will be an uproar because not everyone will get vaccinated...

The world is a scary place for our children right now and they don’t realize it. 

None of it makes sense.

When things are confusing...

One of my favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 3 5:6. “Trust in the Lord with your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.”

In a time like this, we are never going to understand what is happening around us but we can lessen our anxieties by knowing God has this. We need to trust that this will end and we will have better days ahead. 

Take each day and be thankful for what is around you and enjoy the small moments because they are the big moments.

Things I Didn’t Think Of Before Coronavirus

Don’t know I would need to be rationing toilet paper! 

Three weeks into lockdown and starting to ration toilet paper... because I always buy the biggest ones on a normal basis so we were already prepared without even knowing it... and then buy more when we run low cuz that’s what normal people do! Have ppl not figured out there’s no need to hoard toilet paper! No where has any TP when I go still!!

This is a respiratory illness not asspiratory illness!

Time Capsule for 2020

My time capsule for 2020 Quarantine:

Words from the parents:

Letter to myself:

What was the biggest change:

How do you like homeschooling:

Days inside:

Top 3 moments:

What are you most thankful for:

What activities you most enjoyed:

What tv shows you watched:

You new found inside family activity:

Favorite food:

Favorite time of day:

Goals after this:

How am I feeling during this:

What are three things I am most excited to do when this is over:

What did I learn from this:

You are living through history right now put something in this time capsule that you can look back on. 

Cleaning Out and Time Capsule

I have decided to finally tackle projects around the house that need to be done that I have been putting off for some time now.  I haven’t been able to keep up with the boys clothes and closets because they just grow too fast and whatever doesn’t fit I just usually throw into the youngest kid’s closet. I have also found that one of my boys doesn’t know where the garbage is in his room. Apparently he likes to eat microwave popcorn when he goes to bed and then falls asleep.  I was dusting and found some of their hiding places for the candy they hid from each other or candy wrappers they hid from me! I’m also wondering how a fruit snacks gets on top of a bookcase. I can’t count how many nerf gun bullets I have found in strange places. 

All that being said sometimes cleaning out closets or cabinets will stop you in your tracks. In the mundane task of cleaning I found joy. Sort of a time capsule from 2004-2009. I cleaned out the game closets and found memory, big blocks of dominoes, big piece puzzles all from when the boys were little. I never could toss them out. It brought back some fond memories. I also came across the DVDs I would pop in for the boys when they were little. We would sing and dance along together and it brought back such great memories of them being little toddlers. In particular, Braedyn loved the Wiggles. Those dang catchy tunes are still stuck in my head. One by one, I was pulling out the DVDs and remember those times. It got me thinking, the period of time we have right now isn’t much different from back then...home all day with each other. I looked at it from a different perspective...brought me back to toddler days...

I used to be that Pinterest mom who had the arts and crafts, games, dress up, baking, and just fun things to do. I had to dig deep and find that mom again. I somehow lost the fun and imagination. I remember days we would just color for hours. I had gotten out my paint to work on a project and Braedyn asked can we paint, I feel like being creative. I loved it. I got out the paints and we sat at the table and they created and painted. They did it again the next day. I just needed to readjust my thinking and think back to those days when we were at home with no place to be. What did we do during those days, when they were toddlers. They are older now, but they are still kids and I’m happy to know that they still want to do some of those things with me. 

I plan on putting together a time capsule from this quarantine to look back on and that will bring me joy again sometimes and hopefully some great memories we had together as the time keeps getting shorter and shorter. 

Today Has Been the Hardest at Day 15 (may have lost count by now)

Today emotions are all over the place. This is getting harder. Kids are just not meant to be isolated for this long. Teenager’s hormones and emotions are all over the place to begin with and now throw this at them. It’s an emotional rollercoaster. Generally, my kids are pretty easy going and make the best of a situation but it’s getting harder and harder. I think especially when they hear on the news...kids aren’t getting it. Some media outlets are making it a life or death situation, some are not as bad. Some areas are harder hit then others. We have been lucky here in Orange County/Chapel Hill. North Carolina in general are not as bad as other hot spots like New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles. It seems to be the locations which have major airports were the areas hit hardest for obvious reasons. Some parents have been a little more relaxed on the social distancing then others. I also have a couple kids and a husband with asthma, so I really can’t take that maybe 1 percent chance that they may or may not get it. Better safe than sorry. 

Living in the country we are even more isolated than those living in neighborhoods. Thank goodness! Also living in the country, I just figured everyone was following the social distancing rule and just staying home. I noticed that wasn’t the case when I would go into town for a run. I also think it would be even harder explaining why you can’t cross the road to play with your friends. At least they are seeing other human beings even if from afar! That’s what they are supposed to be doing anyways. I went to a local park to park and start my run on the greenway the other day, but yet there was still families there on the park equipment and along the trail yet another smaller park where kids were playing while the moms sat side by side chatting away like a normal play date. I wanted so badly to walk over there and say something but I did not. They definitely were not following the six foot distance rule and no play dates. Hello, that defeats the purpose. The longer people do not follow this rule, the longer we have to be stuck at home. It infuriates me.  It is an simple concept. 

I do not mind being less busy and this pace had been nice for a change.Being stuck at home isn’t all that bad from my point of view. At first there was the normal bickering between brothers but the one good thing that has come out of this is, they have also gotten closer and had to figure out how to make this work with all three of them. They probably have gotten along better in the last couple weeks then ever. The older ones have been more cognizant of making sure they include their younger brother in things. They all go to their rooms when they need a break without me refereeing anything. They get up and have breakfast, then get logged onto their laptops and get their schoolwork done for the day. Then in the afternoon, we get our exercise in together. The trails are still open so we can hit those for a run or bike ride. Cooper has hockey workouts to do and it has been fun for him to have Braedyn join him. They can push each other. Our dog Jake is liking all this attention! He’s getting walks everyday and everyone’s been spending so much time with him. There’s really been no bed times or alarms, except dad. He’s still has to get up and get on his calls in the morning. There are things I have let slide like bedtimes, screen time, and might be appropriate to wear jammies all day. This time has definitely brought them closer. It is something for the history books and they will not forget. I saw a post about a time capsule which I plan to do with them. 

Things You Didn’t Think of Before Coronavirus— Day 12

So thanks to this virus I’m really paying a lot more attention to what I do in the grocery store and dang have you ever tried open those darn bags for apples, oranges, lemons etc... ya 🤬! I hope no one had that on video... #thingsdidntthinkofbeforeakillervirus cmon I know someone else pulled the bag off the thing and was like now what 😆😂 #dontlickyourfinger

Coronavirus thoughts...Day 11

Today at least the sun is shining and the boys all logged onto their computers to do their lessons for the day without to much nagging. It has become our new schedule and routine. 

Breakfast 9:30

School 10:00-1:00 or 2

Workouts sometime after

When I decided to homeschool Cooper for this year, it took about a year of researching the best options and deciding if we both could do it. We are currently at 80 percent complete with his online school, Liberty University Online Academy. I can’t believe how fast it went by when thinking back to the first day when we were scared and nervous.

I want parents to know Crisis/Isolation school is not the same as traditional homeschooling or online homeschooling. This is something you were thrown into as well as the educators and school systems. Some may have been planning for this ahead of time and some may have not and are winging it. Teachers are doing their best with the situation at hand. So if you are thinking of continuing to homeschool after this is all over, just make sure you know what you are getting into. It is not difficult but there are things to consider.  If you are doing traditional homeschool you are now the teacher making the curriculum. Right now they have one... Also for online its not a matter of logging on and you, as the parent, can go for a run or go to work etc....I still have to help and make sure he is doing the work the right way and help him with some lessons. I take it as an assistant to the online teacher. It asks an adult be present. I would say the one thing a parent cold take away from this as a trial run, if you are thinking of diving into it, is to see if you’re child is self motivated to get on and do his work daily and stay focused. 

The only advice I have is, stick to a schedule and be patient. 

It should really only take 3-4 hours for them to do their work sometimes even just a couple hours. 

What I am finding is the technology isn’t always perfect and sometimes does not work. That is the most frustrating from the distance learning. Our online school has had no issues and I have been very pleased with it. 

Shoot for the moon

I would stop time if I could

I would hold you in my arms forever if I could 

Because my heart just can’t let go.

But I know 

Little boys grow 

And that’s just not how it goes.

Because you have to spread your wings child

And you’ll find

I’ll always be right by your side

It’s not always easy

Chasing your dreams

Reach for the stars

No matter how big or how far

I know you will fly 

All you gotta do is try.

Just shoot for the moon

No matter where you are

You’ll land among the stars.

My heart sings and my eyes fill with joy

When I look at this young man 

Who will always be my little boy

You’ve made me so proud 

And I’d scream it from any crowd

I know God has an amazing plan ahead for you

And I can trust and put my faith on that truth

There is no one more truer than you

I’m blessed that you call me mom

my arms always will be outstretched long

Longing for your touch and your big smile

And your love across the miles.

May your journey be happy

And on the right track 

Your stories make you laugh 

Your memories take you back

May you never lose track of who you are

You’ll always be my shining star.

Coronavirus thoughts...Day 10

We survived the first full of week of social distancing (staying 6 feet away from each other) and since people are not taking it seriously and doing what they have been told to do, the order now just came into our County in NC for a Shelter-In-Place. You are to remain home unless your work is essential such as hospitals, grocery stores, pharmacies, banks, or daycare centers. Businesses will be closed that are nonessential. The realization is if we don’t do this, it is going to spread to fast for our healthcare workers to keep up  and we won’t have enough supplies to help the sick people. The longer they do not follow the rules, the longer we are going to have to stay in our homes and have things shut down. We need to get back to our normal lives. I still cannot believe this is happening. It is like a Sci-Fi movie on Netflix.

We are all feeling different things and experiencing different emotions on any given day. Not only are the adults but so are the children. The ones that are old enough will never forget this. The younger ones hopefully their days aren’t too interrupted by having to stay home. Like our pets, they are probably loving all the one-on-one attention. While we are going through this pandemic let yourself and your children feel these things, it is normal. Ask them how they are doing and check in with them. It is a perfect time to get a conversation going with them. 

We all know this is temporary, although a week feels like a month! Things will be different in the world just like it was after 9/11. It’s sad that it takes these kinds of tragedies for Americans to have compassion for each other and really help each other out. It should be this way everyday. There is this acceptance and understanding amongst Americans right now and it is so good to see everyone coming together. We all know how to do it, so now if we can just get politicians to do that. Wouldn’t that be great!

There are emotions such as denial (we saw that on the news of college kids on spring break), sadness, grief (people are dying), anxiety, fear and anger. There are so many emotional stages to this pandemic. It is similar to losing a loved one. You are going to miss what used to be or your longing right now for what was. Just as in life when we lose a loved one, we reflect and take the opportunity to look at things through a different lens.

Do not have regrets

Tell people you love them

Call your mom and dad

Appreciate the little things in life

Enjoy living

Embrace the pace

Have compassion

Only control what you can control

Laugh until you cry

Until tomorrow....

When Someone Hit the Pause Button

Someone please press play... 

I’ve always told my boys to play like it’s your last game because you never know when it is your last. I don’t think that ever set in until recently. My hockey players and the rest of the youth sports world, do not know when they are going to be able to get back to what they love most. The ability to go out and play a sport you love is sometimes taken for granted. If a player is sidelined with an injury, that is one thing but this situation is something unheard of. The country is under quarantine from a virus that originated in China and is spreading fast and killing thousands across the country. It is Covid-19 otherwise named, the Coronavirus. They have closed borders, have travel bans, and shut down the entire sports culture as we know it for the unseen future. For someone who lives and breathes by a schedule, this has been a struggle. We are also a family who lives and breathes sports. They haven’t been able to play their sports as everything was cancelled and rinks even shut down. Then we are sequestered to be home with no sports on the television. It has made for some quality family time, which I have said we needed more of anyways. There have been family dinners, playing board games ~which my youngest has termed boring games, and some exercising together. They have even learned some life skills like cooking for themselves. Also, churches have closed so they’ve been having to do confirmation class by texting and watching pastor on Sunday online. Doing all this, while having their dad working from home since his office closed and also doing homeschool with all three boys. All the schools in the state are closed and students were instructed to do distance learning. Luckily, this year I have experience in this area as my middle son is doing online school this year at home for 8th grade. We have a schedule and so we just added two more students to our class roster. They all keep busy until about 1:00 p.m. They have been great at logging on and getting their work done and teachers are doing a great job getting work to them being thrown into this online education at the last minute. This has also taught them organizational skills, responsibility, and accountability. I’m very thankful for older brothers that can help the youngest on his Math. When the alphabet is involved with math, mom can no longer help.

Also, all of this made me reflect a little bit to the last week of hockey, since I find myself missing the rink and watching my boys do something they love to do. I also miss our hockey family. That is what you become because let’s face it, I spend more time with them during the season then my own family. Hockey is a huge part of our family’s life. As the season was ending, I remember having a conversation with a dad and counting down the days to the last practice. He said, “I hate to think of it that way, one day it will be done and then what will we do and this is the best time of their life and we should be enjoying it and not counting days until it’s done because we will never get it back.” It caught me off guard a little bit and gave me a bit of perspective. He’s good at doing that for me! He is right! I have this love/hate relationship with hockey and it’s really easy to get negative especially after a long expensive season with many sacrifices the whole family makes. It is usually a lot of busy weeknights of homework, maybe dinner at home or on the go, divide and conquering with my husband of making sure no one gets left somewhere. Sundays are not spent at church but a rink somewhere. The checkbook and bank accounts are spitting dust out of the ATM machine. I’m probably not the only one who feels this way but my love for hockey certainly outweighs the negative. I can’t even begin to list the many things the sport has given to us in return... too many to list! Now I should take my own advice and just always just enjoy the game because you never know when it’ll be over. 

The past couple weeks it has been over...well at least on pause. At first, it was disappointing and frustrating especially for those seniors, I can’t imagine the disappointment those kids have. I know most hockey parents right now are all wondering when will the rinks open back up, what can we do to keep our kids moving, and wondering when spring and summer tournaments will get rescheduled, and when will tryouts get rescheduled, people plan around those dates! Will my child be ready when the dates are posted and hoping not to have to reschedule the family vacation. 

If anything this time will be telling... If they really love this sport, are they outside shooting pucks, stick-handling, doing any off ice drills or workouts, if they have blades; are they outside skating or finding some time to better themselves? This is a hard time for everyone who loves hockey and really any sport. This is a time when gyms are closed, there is not a trainer telling you what to do or how to do it, there is not a skating coach pushing you through the last drill, or even a rink open to go play pick up. This time is on your player. What are they gonna do with it? Will they let the time pass playing NHL20 or use this “gift” of time God has given them to get better? If they do, there should not be a question in their mind if they are ready. They are going through something no one else on the planet has ever been through. Adversity makes everyone stronger. In a time where kids are playing year round sports more than ever, it is important for them to have a period of time where they are missing their sport. I don’t think that probably happens enough and that’s why you see a lot of burn out. Everyone’s in the same boat right now. They will be ok with some down time. If they miss it, that’s when you know they love it.

Next time I’m complaining about my hour drive to practice or a ten hour drive for a tournament, I’m going to remember when I was at home quarantined wishing I could sit in a cold rink watching my boys do what they love to do. 

Ironically now, I find myself counting the days until we can go back to the rink. We take these things for granted to easily in the world we live in. I know many kids are missing their teammates right now and wonder when they will lace back up. Sports are going through a period of uncertainty right now but soon that will be over. When we all get back to our busy schedules and someone hits the play button again, if you find your mind wondering-what would I do if I had more time on my hands? Think of this time...

Because hopefully everything you had been wanting to do with more time on your hands, has already been done by now! 

Stay safe and wash your hands! No matter what teams we cheer for or the logos/colors we wear-We are all in this together! 

Wow it’s been awhile....

I can’t believe it’s been so long I have not been on my blog... time to get back to it