A Chapter Closed

Rewind 10 years ago I thought I had a normal birthing experience with Braedyn, albeit painful and LONG I did not have anything to compare it to. He was a healthy 7 pounds 21 inches long little baby boy. Since it was my first, there was a lot of vaginal trauma (as my Dr. puts it) and the Dr. never stitiched my up correctly. I then had 10 pound Cooper and almost 9 pound Jordan...the weight of those two and add in the previous trauma, I'm surprised my insides weren't falling out! I realized the first one was not normal and as time went on and my problems worsened with that area of my body, I needed to fix it when I was done having children. It was becoming a self confidence thing even more so than my deflated and dissappearing boobs. It is emabarrasing to talk about it but I am sure any woman who has multiple births can attest to some of my feelings. Things are never the same!

I had numerous side effects from my Mirena IUD that I had put in after Jordan was born and decided it was time to take it out and look into other options now that we were done having children. It was time to speak to the Dr. about sterilization because I wanted to go in and have my other issues taken care of as well. 

I was having a hard time emotionally with knowing I was done having little babies around my house. It is over. I am moving on to another chapter in my  life.  When your grandparents and parents tell you make sure you enjoy every minute and savor the moments because they go fast~THEY ARE CORRECT! It does go too fast. My baby is starting kindergarten this July! I had to be ok with this decision as a vasectomy can be reversed this cannot! I think if we lived near family in MN or SD we might have had the discussion of another child but now it is not feasible. I run crazy right now and that wouldn't be fair to another child. It is hard enough to find time for all three right now and juggle their schedules. Try to throw in naps and feedings with a newborn I would be in the looney bin for sure. After I finally was ok with the finality of it I went in and had my pre op appointment. 

The decision was to have an Essure placed for sterilization which is an option now instead of a normal tubal ligation where they go through your uterus and place tiny things in your fallopian tubes that eventually tissue grows around them to close it off instead of having to cut into your tummy and have that recovery time. Then have a posterior repair to repair a rectal prolapse that created a rectocele in the wall of my vagina. A rectal prolapse happens when part of your rectum bulges into your vagina wall and creates a bulge at the opening. They cut open the wall of your vagina take the bulge out and suture it back up. That prolapse can happen during labor/childbirth. Then also had scar tissue removed from the first born when they didn't stitch me up correctly. My Dr. said it will be like brand new and will be like before you had children...I am sure you can imgaine what my husband said to that! 

It's an added bonus...

I was very nervous about the procedure and I don't do well with anesthesia. I don't know if I was more nervous about the actual procedure or the recovery! How was I going to be sendentary for a week with three active boys at home and no family around to help. I know what it was like to have Breadyn but he said it will be a little worse than your first childbirth experience. So I kind of knew what to anticipate. 

Charlie took the day off and planned on being home with me for the next five days. He and Jordan took me to the hospital and it was an outpatient surgery. We checked in at 11:00 am and went back at about 12:30 and all I know is I was home by 8:00. While recovering they found a couple things; I do not do anesthesia well at all, I was very very sick from that and kept turning all sorts of whites and greens. and I have a heart arrythmia that is a newly found condition that know one has ever found before. The Anesthesiologist called it Bigeminy (bi-gem-i-ne). It is an abnormal heart beat...It describes a state where your heart alternates one "normal" beat with one "premature" beat. It is describes as two beats close together with a pause following each pair of beats....kind of like boom, boom, pause... He said it was from my running. My resting heart rate is only 40 which is low but that of an endurance athelete and they see it alot in endurance atheletes. It is not to be of concern unless I have other issues. We do have a lot of heart conditions in my family so it was scary but is something to be aware of and keep an eye on and let my Dr. know about it. That was interesting to find out about it. It was a long evening and they asked if I wanted to stay because I was just not coming out of the nausea and pain but I wanted to come home in my own bed and I knew my husband would take care of me. 

I have many stitches up inside me in and around that whole area....an area that probably has the most nerve endings! It is very painful and I advise don't do it unless you absolutely have to! Peeing was like after labor with your peri bottle and you have to take laxatives or Miralax because there are stitiches running inside along your rectum wall...you don't want those to rip open. 

I have Oxy for pain and lots of ibuprofen which Charlie was great on keeping up with it because I wasn't even able to get out bed for two days! If I had to go to the bathroom he was holding me up while I hobbled into the bathroom. 

This is the 6th day in my bed. I am still nauseated from the pain meds still sore on the bottom but not as tender since I can pee without screaming! The swelling has gone down so I can feel the stitiches pulling my skin tight. I am able to get up without help but very slowly. I realized one day when I thought I had a second wind I cannot be up more than a few minutes at a time. Then it is back to bed. 

Saltines have been my diet. It will be a long six week recovery period but it will be worth it in the end. 

The things children do to us physically, emotionally, and spiritually Dr.s can not even tell you what to expect when they come out and what we go through but I wouldn't change it for the world! I love my munchkins!!!

Now back to a nap!