Emotions and Boys-Hard Stuff

As I sit down this morning with my coffee I have thoughts on my mind regarding my children. How each one of them has different emotional needs and trying to remember the 5 love languages. I decided to pour out  my heart on my blog in hopes of working through this in my head and come up with a solution and also get it off my mind. It has been weighing heavy on my heart and my mind. I can't stop thinking about Cooper....I think about him and I get tears in my eyes...his smile has somewhat disappeared lately. I miss his dimples!
When your child is hurting it makes your heart heart. It is a cycle that will continue to evolve and change over time with each child. I used to worry about Braedyn because he is so tender-hearted and kind and he could easily get his feelings hurt. This has changed over time as he has gotten a little older and his skin has gotten a little thicker. He has become mentally more tough. He understands his surroundings and people. He understand that it doesn't need to affect the way he is going to react or feel. We helped him through his worries and fears. He is a child who will talk about his feelings or just want to sit down and talk about his day and that makes him feel better. This has also taken awhile to get there but I treasure that and encourage it. My worries about him have changed to other things such as schoolwork, friends and peer influences. Not so much of the emotional things that are out of my "control".
I am now faced with a child who seems down in the dumps a lot lately. This I cannot "control" or seem to understand. I noticed a change in his behavior around the start of the school year. I equated it to a change of scheduling and he was just tired or adjusting to the routine of school again. It seems to have progressed and his behavior at home has gotten worse. He is a child who has an explosive personality and he is an all or nothing kind of kid. He has been all over the place with his emotions. He can't control them and doesn't seem to have the coping skills. The only thing he does to calm himself down is to go and suck his thumb. Which being 7 really isn't socially acceptable! He can't do that at school. As I struggle with this, I need to dig in my mom toolbox and figure out what tools I need to come up with to help him figure this thing out. It can be a dangerous situation when he is upset and he lashes out in anger against his brothers or at school when he has a melt down and his teacher's are at a stand still not knowing what to do because this isn't his typical behavior.
This is new experience for me and my husband, so we are trying to figure this out as we go. It is really hard. Yesterday getting a note from the teacher telling me that Cooper had a melt down at school and started crying because he wasn't able to pick out a book in the allotted time given and that he has been very emotional at school lately made me realize this has gone beyond home and something is going on with him beside his brothers just antagonizing him. It's hard being the middle child!
So, I sit here and reflect at his behaviors over the past couple months and they have been all over the place. As of lately his eating habits have changed as well. He is not eating like he used to. He says things like I am stupid and I can't think...it all starts with I can't. He gets very negative about things in general and himself. He doesn't want to go to school anymore and he used to love school. So I have talked to the school counselor to see if she could see if something is going on at school with another child.  At first I have to say, I was not so empathetic towards this kind of behavior. Hitting your brothers, screaming at them, and fighting with them is not acceptable behavior so he was punished and I have lost my cool more than once. In the heat of the situations you don't know what to do. So I am guilty of this too, as I am sure we all have done this with our children. You get so frustrated...Then I think I am to blame. Did I do this to him. Did I make him depressed. Have I crushed his spirit in some way. Have I passed down this predisposition to depression that I had to struggle with growing up. It worries me to know end. I know what it's like and it took me a long time to figure out how to deal with it. Physical hurt is easy to fix. Emotional hurt is not easy. I can't put a band aid on it and kiss it to make him feel better. What I can do is be positive for things he has done and not be so hard on him for things he has done wrong. Give him lots of hugs and walk away if I am frustrated so I don't repeat the behavior that he did just did to get in trouble, right back at him by me yelling. I have to work on this too.
I know second grade brings more responsibilities, more homework, harder work, more focus. So maybe he is struggling with that as well. He is a kid who plays sports at a level 2-3 years older because of his skill level...athletically the kid has been gifted so on the playground he has difficulties I see because he wants to play the way he knows not the way a 7 year old typically would or he beats them and they don't want to play with him...but yet then he will want to play batman or imaginative games which is great still but some kids don't want to, so then he takes that as they don't want to be his friend. I wonder if he is struggling to figure out where he fits in. He struggles with that at home being the middle child. I know they love each other but it's a push pull kind of situation. This particular year he doesn't have a lot of his friends in his class so that is also making it hard on him. Having to navigate around new people.
I was not the middle child, so I try to put myself in his shoes to understand what that must feel like. It's got to be hard. I need to do a better job of being sympathetic towards that.
I laid with him last night at bedtime and just reassuring him if something is bothering him he can tell us. That we love him and we are here anytime and he can tell us anything! We can figure it out and talk it thru. I rubbed his blonde soft hair and his chubby little cheeks as he dozed off to sleep and hugged him real tight and said a prayer for him before I left his room.
This parenting thing gets harder and harder every year. I thought it was hard when they were babies but guess what ~~I will take that any day to do over again! It is true what your parents  tell you ~It only gets harder!
But we figure it out and keep on going! Every day there may be a new challenge ahead but we meet it and try our best to tackle it! I am thankful this is my challenge today as I know people who have different daily challenges to deal with that our far worse than mine. I will end on that thought and I know Cooper our tough kid will come out on top of his hill he is currently working on climbing! Those Dimples Will Reappear!
Love,
Allie

Shredded Beef Burritos (from leftover crockpot dinner)

Saturday nights you can usually find us at our usual dinner location these past couple months! They usually have a table for us! Fiesta Grill a little Mexican country restaurant located out by us, that has won 5 Indy awards, is Charlie's favorite place. I will even make dinner and have to put it away, as he wants to go to Fiesta Grill yet again! It is the best Mexican in Chapel Hill!

Well once again,m I made dinner in the crock pot and had to put it in fridge for today. I came up with this recipe by the seat of my pants while trying to figure out what I was going to do with a leftover roast..

Here it is from the beginning starting with the crock pot recipe!

1 beef chuck roast
3-4 onions chopped
1-2 green peppers, sliced
1 can of Rotel either regular or hot
1 can of cream of celery soup
and a little bit of water
handful of Italian seasonings
seasoned salt
garlic powder
black pepper

Let that cook in the crock pot all day on low or I had it on about 6 hours high...

I let it cool for a good three to four hours after unplugging it. scooped out beef and shredded it off bone and threw away bone and fat...scooped out all the good veggies just leaving broth in pot. Threw that away. Put in fridge...

Morning mixed up the beef, green peppers, rotel, and onions with a can of black beans and about a cup of salsa verde (green sauce). Spread the mixture on Tortillas and rolled up into Burritos. Made about 8-9. Put back in fridge for later...Spread the enchilada sauce on top and bake at 350 for 45-60 minutes. Add shredded Cheddar cheese and put back in oven to melt.

Enjoy!

Never Slowing Down

Cooper also celebrated his birthday over the summer. He turned 7 in July. Our little butterball!
He has never really seemed his age. Someone once told me, he is an old soul. I believe that...
Now remember, he came out practically a toddler!
He has not slowed in his growth. He has now surpassed Braedyn in weight, height, and shoe size. It does make it kind of nice on the pocketbook as they can share clothes. Not so sure how long that will last! I will take it while I can.
He enjoys antagonizing his brothers and loving them too...it's the middle child syndrome!
He is in the middle and never knows where the punches or hugs might come from!
Between all the boys he definitely is the one who can test my patience the most but when he gives me a big old bear hug and says I love you out of the blue, all those anxieties and frustration disappear

He still has a love of hockey which will be taking us all over North Carolina this year as well as Philadelphia and Annapolis!  

 

 

A Big 4!

Jordan turned 4 in June and I still can't believe how fast the time has gone...Our NC born baby!

He marches to a beat of his own. He definitely looks up to his big brothers! They have a special friendship and bond! He follows closely behind and watches every move and listens to everything they have to say. Sometimes he shouldn't...
He has a personality of his own that is hard to contain! He is a tender hearted kind kid who has a heart of gold. He cracks me up every day! He wakes up and has to pick out his own clothes and is VERY particular about what he is going to wear. He must get this from his older fashion forward brother Braedyn! Cooper would come downstairs in Purple shorts and Red shirt and they might just be a size to little and be completely fine with it...that is if I can get him to wear anything at all.
I love being able to spend this last year with him before my baby starts kindergarten!
I am treasuring this opportunity to watch him learn new things.  It's almost like when he was a baby and with every mile stone reached is a joy. He is mastering his ABC's with phonics and recognition and doing simple math. He gets so excited when he masters a new level. As a mom sometimes I wonder am I doing enough.  These lessons prove to me, at least I did something great today and it gives me a sense of accomplishment as well as it does him. It gives us some quality time together too because it would be just as easy for me to sit him in front of the TV or give him the Ipad while I clean, do laundry or other tasks.
I sure am going to miss him when he starts kindergarten! Someone is going to have to keep my busy that day and have plenty of Kleenex at hand!

Sometimes I Wonder

One day I opened Cooper's lunch box and this nice little note was inside. Now that makes packing those annoying lunch boxes every morning a little more bearable!!

How Sweet!

Sometimes I wonder!

Nice to get those kind of surprises!!!

So it made me think it probably makes them just as happy to get notes from me when they open their lunch boxes at the lunch table!

 

Halloween 2013

Now that brings us to Halloween....Cooper was a devil...Jordan a pirate...and Braedyn he didn't find an outfit until that night. He decided to be Joe Mauer...thanks to grandma he had a Mauer Jersey! I think my attitude towards Halloween might have rubbed off on him.
It is not a holiday I find enjoyable...as a kid we would get dressed up in a costume that no one would ever see because we would have a snowsuit and moon boots on and we would freeze our butts off! So I have never really gotten into Halloween. I guess he doesn't care for it as much either. I couldn't even get him to wear baseball pants...to complete the look!
It was a fun night of trick or treating with new friends in a new neighborhood that we had never been to just down the road out in the country near our house.

Getting Back To This Blogging and Some updates ~It's Been Awhile!

Halloween just passed and I can't believe I have not written anything since May!! So warning this maybe get long...but if you want some updates on our family...enjoy!

Where shall I start? It's been a whirlwind like always!

celebrating at Applebees end of year

end of quarter awards

I guess I will start out with school ending in June 2013! We finished up 3rd and 1st grade with ease! Another year has gone by at HES. They had wonderful school year with great teachers. Now onto 2nd and 4th...Really??? Jordan finished up preschool in the 3's class. I am sad to say that he will not return to preschool and I have conflicting thoughts on this, but I wish to keep my baby home one last year before he goes off to everyday kindergarten. It may be selfish but we do alot of things at home and socially, the kid thinks he is 8. He enjoys being home with mom and we are so busy that he was never at home to play like 3-4 year old should. He has to chase his brother's around to different after school activities.  I am sure he will be just fine starting Kindergarten in July...wait did I just say that! Amazing how time flies by. I want to treasure this last year because it just goes by to fast. I am realizing this as they keep getting older. I want to hold onto these young stages...
We had a great summer break. It was short but just long enough for the boys.

June included a visit from my parents for a week. We had a little excitement on their last evening as we had a really bad storm which took down the biggest tree on our property taking out two power lines with it and many other trees in the area. We were without power for about four days. Luckily, a neighbor came over and gave us a small generator to keep our deep freeze and other fridges working. I have now learned how to flush toilets when you are on a well and your power goes out! ICK!! Let's just say that was not a pleasant smell!  Otherwise, we had a wonderful visit when they were here. It just goes by too fast!

they are here

celebrating Jordan turning 4

fallen tree

a really big tree
 

Very Proud!

Cooper had a fun experience in June playing in the North Carolina State Powerade Games in Charlotte, NC. He played on a U8 Hockey team.  They participated in the Parade of Athletes which was at the NASCAR Hall of Fame. It was a fun time and it was the first time playing on a full sheet of ice. The RYHA program he was in at the Jr. Hurricanes followed the ADM model which is cross ice games for U8 level. So the kids were wore out! They did wonderful and we were all very proud of them. There were 5 teams. They were all travel teams that normally play full ice except us and one other RYHA team. We placed 3rd. They all received a 3rd place bronze medal. They all played their hearts out. I think he wore it to bed when we got home.

Checker's mascot

Awe!!

Very Happy Third Place Team!

 

Parade of Athletes

We won!

We then went to South Dakota in July for a trip back to see Charlie's family. We had not been back in three years. It was so different flying this year then the last time we were on a airplane or going through security! We have passed the diaper bag stage, stroller stage, car seats to haul, and any other "baby" items...It was amazing! They all did wonderful! We were there over the 4th of July and it was great to be back. We enjoyed the time back in SD being with his family and friends. It is a slow country way of life! I like it! We also got to go up to his family's place at the lake and the boys had so much fun tubing, fishing and just playing with their cousins. We got to see his grandpa who bless his heart is 97 and still is quick witted! It went by too quick and it was hard leaving as always. It's true what they say "home is where the heart is" because half of Charlie's is in SD and the other here.

Farm Boy

A boy and his fishing pole

cousins and their toys at the lake

Braedyn and Cooper on tube for the first time, they loved it!!

and Jordan's first time!
 

4th and 2nd graders

Then school started in July. We have a 4th grader and a 2nd grader! So far so good! The first 9 weeks flew by all getting perfect attendance and a end of quarter awards. I also had the privilege of chaperoning the 4th grade field trip to the outer banks. A trip we won't forget! It was wonderful memories made with Braedyn! What an experience! I didn't have anything like this growing up! I didn't even see an ocean until I was almost 16! I will detail that in another post. It was a weekend trip leaving on a friday morning at 5 am on 2 charter buses with 80 4th graders and chaperones from Walmart parking lot and returning Saturday at midnight. We were exhausted!

First day of school year 2013-14

Cape Hatteras Lighthouse with Bradyn on feild trip to Outer Banks

Wright Brothers Memorial in Nags Head

Braedyn has decided he didn't want to play fall baseball and he wanted to take a break this year which was fine with me as Cooper was getting started with his new travel hockey team this year I knew we would be busy. Jordan is still playing hockey too. Braedyn and Jordan do the "Learn to Play" on Sunday nights together which has worked great. Cooper has hockey practice once a week and then games or practices on Saturdays/Sundays. So the weeknights have been rather nice around here for a change. Yes, travel hockey is a little stressful but so far this program has worked better for us with the scheduling and location of it. Cooper loves it. He is now playing for the Carolina Stars which is a U10 travel team out of Raleigh. He is always playing tough as nails and with a heart of gold! It's a new team and so far he has learned a lot from the coach and he really likes it. Our travel season is getting ready to start shortly and we will have games every weekend now til at least February! I do enjoy watching all three of them out there on the rink together when they go play for fun! They love it!

Rink Rats!

Cooper A Carolina Star!

I ran another 1/2 marathon in October. It was the Bull City Race Fest in Durham, NC. It was exactly the same course as I ran last October and I was able to get a PR beating my previous time by 5 whole minutes. I ran it in 1 hour and 51 minutes. I felt great and it was a nice cool fall day. I was worried because my training had been slim with the kids fall break but I rarely took days off. I would just get it some shorter runs when they could go with me. I ran again with my girlfriend Amy. She did wonderful considering she couldn't train until a couple weeks before the marathon because she had a cast on most of August and September because she had a broken arm. She was a trooper! I can officially say I am not running anything longer than maybe a 4 mile race until April of 2015 as I have my eyes set on the Nashville Music City Rock n Roll Marathon. I will finally have time to train as all of the kiddos will be in school! My body needs a break! I need the break.

Getting ready for the race to start ~it was a little chilly...notice my sweatshirt my warm up from H.S.!

I have been busy helping with Cooper's hockey team doing hockey mom stuff! Jordan and I do a preschool curriculum at home and that has given me enjoyment seeing him learn and grow. I have patience to do this but appreciate those homeschool moms! I don't know how they do it! I have not done anything with my music lately because our schedules have not allowed that. At some point, I will get back to it. I'm going to be an auntie again as my sister and her husband are having another child in early 2014. Hopefully I will get to see him or her before they start kindergarten!

Charlie has been busy with work and very happy at Cree. It has been a wonderful move and a wonderful company to work for. He still hasn't quite figured out how to come home early but at least he doesn't have to work on weekends and I finally was able to talk him into getting a lawn service! Now that he has it, he loves it and has commented how he doesn't know he got that all done by himself when they bring about 4-5 guys and it's done in an hour tops. It would take him a whole Saturday and Sunday! We also got a vacuum for the pool so it seems his job as pool boy and lawn boy have been replaced. It is better spent with us! I told him he works too hard during the week to come home and then work all weekend long. The boys sports are also preventing that from happening. That will only get worse. They love throwing around the football or baseball with dad!

Our fall break found us again in Gainseville, FL! We drove down to University of Florida again for a football weekend! They played Tennessee! It was a lot of fun and tailgating to the extremes! They won the game so that is always great. We took in the Museum of Natural Science as well that was located on campus. It wasn't as hot as last year and it was a late afternoon game which was great. Braedyn also met someone who he was excited to see by surprise walking in the hotel...

Coach Donovan ~the UF Men's basketball coach. While there we met up with Charlie's advisor from grad school and went to dinner. He and his wife are Korean so they chose a Korean restaurant. That was an experience! The boys shocked me as they tried everything and ate a lot of the food! Who knew! It's always great to see them too!

Gator Basketball!!

Football game!



Bull Gator at Ben Hill Griffen stadium

We also stayed in Savannah again on the way home for a couple of nights. This time we surprised the boys with a fishing charter trip! We got up at 6 am and told them we had a surprise. Not sure they liked the waking up part! They were excited and so thrilled to go fishing, we could have caught anything I knew they would be happy! They have been wanting to go fishing for a long time. So instead of just taking them around here~dad spoiled them and got a charter on the Savannah river. Which is a beautiful place! They caught all sorts of hammerhead sharks and stingrays that we had to toss back but we also caught about 10 trout we were able to keep and bring home. That was 4 hours they won't forget! We enjoy going out to eat on the riverfront and watching the big merchant marine ships coming into port.

Cooper's first catch

Hammerhead

just heading out, it was beautiful

Trouble x 3

e have some exciting things coming on our way in the next few months so hoping to keep up with this, so stay tuned for more fun Jacobson excursions!
The hockey mommy will be on the road!
With Love,
Allie