"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)
On my bookshelf sits some wedding pictures that I treasure!
Mom and Dad,Grandma and Grandpa Nelson
And on the right Grandma and Grandpa Baudoin
I Love You all!
I pray that the love I have witnessed for so many years is what Charlie and I can leave as a legacy to kids our grandkids! These days the statistics is very sad, one in five marriages are ending in divorce. It isn't easy and marriage takes time, love, patience, understanding, empathy and forgiveness. It's putting your trust in someone and letting your heart lead the way. Sometimes that road gets a little bumpy but all things are worth it in the end. It takes work and a lot of love. Everyone has their ups and downs and rides the rollercoaster of love. If there are children involved, realize you are leaving a legacy. What would your children say about you? Would they be able to speak of love?
"Don' t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV)
We lead by example and there needs to be both love and respect. We are showing them the way to love, speak, serve, and live. I am reading a book and it is starting to make sense. Women want to feel and be loved and Men what respect shown to them and that's how they feel loved...it's about communication and understanding each other. It is a cycle that goes on and on....If these needs are not met, things can get a little crazy.How many times have there been things said or unsaid that lead to miscommunication or arguments and there's that uncomfortable silence when you are in the same room because something was said and she felt it was insensitive or she said something that he mistook as disrespectful. Self-Righteousness is also destructive to any relationship. What can one say to a person who is always right and righteous? There's no need to think for both of you and I have learned not offer my opinion unless asked and just listen to his opinions and thoughts that I may consider different (because he is not thinking like me) and either let him vent or just be quiet. Sometimes he is not looking for my opinion! Also, a good come back would be, you can be right but wrong at the top of your lungs. Sometimes its easy just to agree to disagree or forgive and forget...I think that is also called unconditional love. A girlfriend told me this once when we speaking about relationships, "I may not like you right now but I will always love you..."
We kind of live in a tit for tat world and marriages shouldn't be that way but we often feel like it; but love shouldn't be based on percentages.
It is easy to get caught up in this thought, as many women including myself, are the ones doing most of the work at home, while they work at the office and it can seem unbalanced. It is not; because if he didn't go to the office, I couldn't do what I do. I have to remind myself of that when I get into that train of thought and I feel run down.
We both work! It's just different kinds of work. I know I have to remind myself of this often because it is hard work and tiresome. I think appreciation goes along way. If a women is shown appreciation for the things she does, she feels loved. If a husband can provide for his family, he feels respected.
This statement goes back to everything you do counts.
His love blesses regardless of her respect;
Her respect blesses regardless of his love.
Even in trials and tribulations you need to love and trust unconditionally out of respect. If it doesn't come back then it's not you. You are not doing something that is unfruitful. Most of the time, a transformation is in the works or you have planted the seed in your spouse and you don't even know it. I am not very good at patience and it is something I pray for many times. Delay is not defeat. Good things come to those who wait. Sometimes it may take a lot of waiting!
I have a lot of stresses on me such as raising and teaching the children, keeping a healthy loving marriage, being healthy, being a great friend, sister, daughter and granddaughter, keeping a clean and organized house, getting children to their school and activities, serving the lord and others, and others things that I am forgetting. But I would rather have all of these stresses on me than trying to also work on top of that! I would much rather have a loving husband providing for me and work together to keep everyone happy and have a loving home. We are a team. Team Jacobson! It isn't always easy but that's why we have each other to lean on! This post is just some reflection I have had while reading this book and thought I would share. I will be the first to say we are not the picture perfect family and we have our faults just like everyone else! Marriage and parenting didn't come with an instruction book, you figure it out as you go!
Whatever works for you doesn't always work for everyone. When you find that happy medium and life balance than that is wonderful. I think it is a daily see-saw; trying to have a balanced life!
Blessings,
Allie
To sum it up: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
"Don' t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV)
We lead by example and there needs to be both love and respect. We are showing them the way to love, speak, serve, and live. I am reading a book and it is starting to make sense. Women want to feel and be loved and Men what respect shown to them and that's how they feel loved...it's about communication and understanding each other. It is a cycle that goes on and on....If these needs are not met, things can get a little crazy.How many times have there been things said or unsaid that lead to miscommunication or arguments and there's that uncomfortable silence when you are in the same room because something was said and she felt it was insensitive or she said something that he mistook as disrespectful. Self-Righteousness is also destructive to any relationship. What can one say to a person who is always right and righteous? There's no need to think for both of you and I have learned not offer my opinion unless asked and just listen to his opinions and thoughts that I may consider different (because he is not thinking like me) and either let him vent or just be quiet. Sometimes he is not looking for my opinion! Also, a good come back would be, you can be right but wrong at the top of your lungs. Sometimes its easy just to agree to disagree or forgive and forget...I think that is also called unconditional love. A girlfriend told me this once when we speaking about relationships, "I may not like you right now but I will always love you..."
We kind of live in a tit for tat world and marriages shouldn't be that way but we often feel like it; but love shouldn't be based on percentages.
It is easy to get caught up in this thought, as many women including myself, are the ones doing most of the work at home, while they work at the office and it can seem unbalanced. It is not; because if he didn't go to the office, I couldn't do what I do. I have to remind myself of that when I get into that train of thought and I feel run down.
We both work! It's just different kinds of work. I know I have to remind myself of this often because it is hard work and tiresome. I think appreciation goes along way. If a women is shown appreciation for the things she does, she feels loved. If a husband can provide for his family, he feels respected.
This statement goes back to everything you do counts.
His love blesses regardless of her respect;
Her respect blesses regardless of his love.
Even in trials and tribulations you need to love and trust unconditionally out of respect. If it doesn't come back then it's not you. You are not doing something that is unfruitful. Most of the time, a transformation is in the works or you have planted the seed in your spouse and you don't even know it. I am not very good at patience and it is something I pray for many times. Delay is not defeat. Good things come to those who wait. Sometimes it may take a lot of waiting!
I have a lot of stresses on me such as raising and teaching the children, keeping a healthy loving marriage, being healthy, being a great friend, sister, daughter and granddaughter, keeping a clean and organized house, getting children to their school and activities, serving the lord and others, and others things that I am forgetting. But I would rather have all of these stresses on me than trying to also work on top of that! I would much rather have a loving husband providing for me and work together to keep everyone happy and have a loving home. We are a team. Team Jacobson! It isn't always easy but that's why we have each other to lean on! This post is just some reflection I have had while reading this book and thought I would share. I will be the first to say we are not the picture perfect family and we have our faults just like everyone else! Marriage and parenting didn't come with an instruction book, you figure it out as you go!
Whatever works for you doesn't always work for everyone. When you find that happy medium and life balance than that is wonderful. I think it is a daily see-saw; trying to have a balanced life!
Blessings,
Allie
To sum it up: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
No comments:
Post a Comment