Keep Your Eyes Wide Open

Never say never ...

Junior Year and Covid

This year, Braedyn is stuck at home doing distance learning along with most public school students in North Carolina. 

Luckily he is a good student and has been doing great. It has worked for him. The announcement came out they could return to school at the end of March. The school board thought it was a good idea to bring back freshman and sophomores first in January. Then they would bring Juniors and Seniors back in March. That makes completely no sense at all but our board never does. So that is only par for the course. March, what's the point...He'll only have three months left. I hate that for him and I hate that he feels that way. He loves school and he misses his friends. But to go back to a "jail" would not be ideal. The rules and expectations of the students seem more like a jail then school. He can still participate in sports and distance learn so that his is choice. The thing that makes me sad is he has missed out on an important year in High School. It's an important year for your academics to buckle down and start thinking about your future. That is hard to do everyday when you roll out of bed when your alarm clock goes off and log into a virtual classroom. It's like groundhog day everyday. Same thing...

He has missed out on things that high school juniors should have fond memories of looking back... but he had no homecoming, no prom, no pep rallies, and no classroom shenanigans, memories and new friendships. His baseball season was cut short which was a blessing in disguise because he was injured. Now he had a whole year to recover and prepare. I am excited to see what this year has to bring. Hopefully his baseball season will remain intact this spring. This year was the year of college planning and I have been thrown a curveball with that. It is a year to enjoy before your last. All of sudden he will be a senior. I have to say I am sad he missed out on things like that but I have gotten to have a whole year with him at home which I will always treasure. You cannot get that time back and he will be gone soon. We have been talking about his future a lot and thankful for this time to be able to that! He isn't in school so the things that maybe would be talked about with his counselors and figuring things out are not available right now. This would have been the year he started doing that. It has kind of fallen into our laps and I have been help him navigate things. 

He has been working out with his brother while he is home and taking baseball more serious. He has realized he could play in college if he really wants to. Obviously, he doesn't have hopes of going Division 1 or I don't think he ever really wanted to go to a major large University. He has started to think of how he'd like to go to a really good smaller school with a decent baseball program and wants to play ball in college. Some kids just know what they want to do from a young age and it never changes. Cooper has had the same dream since he was a little boy but Braedyn is different. He was a late bloomer and a smaller kid. He has always been a good baseball player and he needed to grow. He will never be a 6 foot kid but he plays like it. I am enjoying him getting excited about his future and researching colleges and programs and possible majors he might pursue. I think he finally has connected with someone who will help him achieve these things. Someone who believes in him and can help him through this new process. Looks like we will be playing a lot of baseball this summer...

I have seen him grow into this confident, smart, funny, and mature young man. He makes me very proud. I am proud to be his mom. 

This is an exciting time for him and I am glad I get to be along for the ride.  

New Driver

 He's late getting a license because of Covid restrictions but finally got it and a new car just in time for Christmas!!

Tom Brady’s Best Sports Quotes

1. “Too often in life, something happens and we blame other people for us not being happy or satisfied or fulfilled. So the point is, we all have choices, and we make the choice to accept people or situations or to not accept situations.” – Tom Brady

2. “A lot of times I find that people who are blessed with the most talent don’t ever develop that attitude, and the ones who aren’t blessed in that way are the most competitive and have the biggest heart.” – Tom Brady

3. “I think that at the start of a game, you’re always playing to win, and then maybe if you’re ahead late in the game, you start playing not to lose. The true competitors, though, are the ones who always play to win.” – Tom Brady

4. “You wanna know which ring is my favorite? The next one.” – Tom Brady

5. “If you don’t believe in yourself why is anyone else going to believe in you?” – Tom Brady

6. “I don’t care about three years ago… I don’t care about two years ago. I don’t care about last year. The only things I care about is this week.” – Tom Brady

7. “My job is to play quarterback and I’m going to do that the best way I know how because I owe that to my teammates regardless or who is out there on the field with me.” – Tom Brady

8. “I didn’t come this far to only come this far, so we’ve still got further to go.” – Tom Brady

9. “You push your body to the limited but you have to train your body to deal with the limits.” – Tom Brady

10. “If you don’t play to win, don’t play at all.” – Tom Brady

11. “Maybe some people can wake up and play playstation all day, but that’s never been me.” – Tom Brady

12. “I’m not a person who defends myself very often. I kind of let my actions speak for me.” – Tom Brady

13. “I don’t want to wake up and be bored. That’s probably my greatest fear is to have nothing to do. What better job is there than to play quarterback for an NFL team, and certainly one that I’ve been on for a long time and had success with? I don’t plan on giving it up any time soon.” – Tom Brady

14. “Life is not living in the suburbs with a white picket fence. That’s not life. Somehow our American culture has made it out that that’s what life needs to be – and that if it’s not that, it’s all screwed up. It’s not.” – Tom Brady

15th Tom Brady Quote –“I’m a pretty good winner. I’m a terrible loser. And I rub it in pretty good when I win.” – Tom Brady

16. “Every quarterback can throw a ball; every running back can run; every receiver is fast; but that mental toughness that you talk about translates into competitiveness.” – Tom Brady

17. “We all have experiences in our lives that change us, and we all learn from people, like my dad, but at the end of the day, it’s only us. And we’re only responsible to make ourselves happy.” – Tom Brady

18. “To me, football is so much about mental toughness, it’s digging deep, it’s doing whatever you need to do to help a team win and that comes in a lot of shapes and forms.” – Tom Brady

19. “I’m never going to be fast, and nobody will ever mistake me for being fast.” – Tom Brady

20. “I’m not really concerned with portraying this tough warrior – I mean, that’s part of my job and I take that very seriously. But I don’t have anything to hide, and I’m not concerned with what people think.” – Tom Brady

21. “Nothing surprises me anymore in the NFL.” – Tom Brady

22. “The only thing I ever wanted to be was a professional football player.” – Tom Brady

23. “People want to go out and travel around and meet cool people. I could just go live in Vermont, but is that what I really want?” – Tom Brady

24. “When I’m out on the football field, I have so much confidence in what I’m doing.” – Tom Brady

25. “To me, if you’re trying to impress a girl, get a date, they’re gonna like that more because you’re a confident guy. That’s what it comes down to.” – Tom Brady

26. “Football is unconditional love.” – Tom Brady

27. “I always try to do as much as I can do. I’m never a person that does not enough, because I’d regret not doing enough and think I probably could have done more. I probably go too far and have to reel myself back in, which works in some things, and other things it doesn’t work.” – Tom Brady

28th Tom Brady Quote –“If I have something to say, I want it to be meaningful.” – Tom Brady

29. “You never get over losses. I’ve never gotten over one loss I’ve had in my career. They always stick with me.” – Tom Brady

30. “I think any man who lets a woman pick what he should wear… I mean, you gotta draw the line somewhere as a man. I see these guys, ‘My wife told me to wear this!’ And I just shake my head.” – Tom Brady

31. “After the first day of practice, there’s not one guy who’s playing at 100 percent or who feels great. Sometimes, getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth is the hardest part of the day – it just hurts.” – Tom Brady

32. “I think the running game is very important to every offense. Being balanced is extremely important. There’s times where you have to throw the ball. You could be down late in the game, you need to come back; you have to be able to pass it when they know you’re passing it.” – Tom Brady

33. “I think I have a certain respect for people, you know. And I guess a lot of times I expect that respect to go both ways.” – Tom Brady

34. “I’m an emotional person. Sometimes I can’t help it.” – Tom Brady

35. “Every man should know, if you’re comfortable and you like it, you should do it. Everyone always worries about what the girls think, what the guys think. If you like it, do it.” – Tom Brady

36. “Mentally, the only players who survive in the pros are the ones able to manage all their responsibilities. Everybody struggles in different ways.” – Tom Brady

37. “If you’re a quarterback, you want everything on your shoulders. You want to be the one to make the decisions.” – Tom Brady

38. “I’ve had just about everything punched. I’ve had things grabbed that just shouldn’t be grabbed.“ – Tom Brady

39. “I have a memory, and I can just eliminate mistakes when they come up because I’ve already made them.” – Tom Brady

40. “I play a complicated position in an intensely team-oriented game.” – Tom Brady

41. “There are times when you throw an interception and you’re beating yourself up.” – Tom Brady

42. “If someone lies, well, you had a choice to trust that person or not. I think the way my father raised me, well, he trusted everybody. And that worked for him.” – Tom Brady

43. “My personal feelings are my personal feelings. I don’t want to express them with anyone except for a very few people. It doesn’t do any good. It really doesn’t.” – Tom Brady

44. “You know, watching Dan Marino and Steve Young get nominated to the Hall of Fame… those guys are unbelievable and they did it for so long. I’d love to play like those guys, but there’s still a long way to go and a lot of growing. “ – Tom Brady

45. “I’m much more comfortable and confident running out on the field in front of 70,000 people instead of standing in front of a camera trying to say some lines. The people who do that as a profession are very talented because it’s certainly not easy.” – Tom Brady

46. “You have to believe in your process. You have to believe in the things that you are doing to help the team win. I think you have to take the good with the bad.” – Tom Brady

Learning As We Go

 As a parent, I think it is natural for everyone to want help your child along the way. It is what we have done since the day we brought them home. When you are preparing to bring a child into this world there are books you can find about your first days at home with a newborn, Your first year, your toddler years, even books on those hard preteen and teenage years. I have yet to find a book on how to learn to let go as they grow up. Better yet, is there a book for parents that send their child away to prep school or other opportunities at a young age?  I have not found one. It is a learn as you go process with trial and error. Most parenting at this point is trial and error.

The experience of having your child leave at 14 has sure had some interesting issues present themselves and some learning on our part and for my son this past year. Not being a part of his everyday life was an adjustment and of course the only way to find out about his day was to ask questions. I wanted to know everything....do you think a 14 year old boy is going to answer 20 questions about his day. That would be a NO. I would be lucky to get a response to one of the questions followed with, "why do you have to ask so many questions?". Well, because I love you and I'm your mom.  Eventually I got better and I quit asking him about the little things. Why is it that the little things are what I miss most about being a part of his day? The monotonous, daily things we do as moms become the things I miss the most. Going up to wake him and arguing about about 5 more minutes, making meals, packing lunches, driving all over the country, laundry, picking up his room, helping with homework, knowing what he is studying, making sure he is showered, checking on him at bedtime and lucky to get in a few snuggles before bedtime and just busy schedules. I think it is because we know they are taken care of, we know what's going on in their lives, and that is our job. As they get older, that job requires less and less time. As time goes by, I am learning to let go of that stuff and it will be ok. It is ok if he misses a shower or a meal he will survive. He is enjoying our conversations much more without all the questions and nagging. 

Then there is being accountable and responsible for his own schoolwork, projects, and taking ownership of that. This year is particularly hard because he was only in school for two days and then when hockey season started he went to remote learning at least until the season is over. I am thankful I had a whole year with him at home and he did Liberty University online academy. He's the only one who actually finished a normal school year because of Covid.  It prepared him for remote learning. He has to advocate for himself and we've had to learn this process together because, of course, I wanted to jump in and help or email the teacher. I may have stepped in one difficult time but this is an area they need to learn by failure. It's ok to have a setback and quickly learn not to do it again. I do miss this part and being a part of this everyday. Also in regards to school, I don't get to have his buddies over and trip over all their shoes. I don't get to know them I like have his past friends. I don't get to hear there bantering, laughter and clean up after them. I know he will make good choices. I don't get to hear what happened at school or how his day went. I am thankful for the friends he has met they all seem like wonderful people and its nice to hear he is finding his place at school. Playing hockey in the south has taken him away pretty much every weekend since he was 8 years old! He didn't get to have a lot of sleepovers or attend school functions because of hockey. His friends were his teammates and that is how it has always been. He actually has time to have a social life at 14. He is very excited to go back to school as the school district has told them they can return to in-person instruction in March. 

Then there is the hockey...

I can't say how proud I am of him doing all the above and maintaining a 4.0 GPA and making a strong varsity hockey team as a freshman. You never know unless you try...He knew he was going to have to work his tail off to make the team and he was determined to do that. It was sort of unknown territory especially with Covid, we didn't even know if hockey would happen. In North Carolina,  he was a big fish in a small pond and now he is a little fish in a really big pond. He was thankful he got to play in the fall then Covid shut hockey down and luckily he was able to come home over the holidays and skate with some friends. We were thrilled for him when it was announced tryouts would happen in January and he ended up making the team. I was there with him and I won't forget that smile. He did this on his own and to see your child set his mind to something and accomplish it is a wonderful experience. He loves his teammates and coaches. I am so happy they have welcomed him with open arms and really taken him in. Everyone has been so helpful with rides and making sure he is taken care of. He loves being on the ice everyday and getting better everyday. It is just so much easier on him in Minnesota with the schedule and he is playing hockey for his school. There is something about playing a sport for your school that can't be replaced by a club sport. The pride and the school spirit is something he has never really gotten to experience at this level. He's had to adjust to a new team, new coach, new role and new systems. He's had to go thru a lot of adversity and it will all help him later in life. Hockey in itself has given him a lot of adversities to overcome and each a learning lesson. He has learned to advocate for himself. Mom and dad are not on this path it is his deal and he has to figure it all out. This journey is up to him so he just has to keep grinding and good things can come and only he can control that. I went from being his sounding board  and being on long road trips with him and coach to not really knowing what's going on. In travel club hockey you are with your hockey family more than you are with your own family. It really becomes your life for 7-8 months out of the year. In the south, hockey is exhausting for everyone and your checkbook. We are all proud of him and excited for him to see where his journey might lead him. It's a process day to day and Rome wasn't built overnight. I need to remind myself. He will get to were he needs to be when he needs to be there. We all reach our potential when we are supposed to. God has a way with timing. Just like we all get to be the height we are supposed to get to when we reach it. He is one determined kid and I have no doubt he will accomplish what he wants to accomplish. I'm just there for him now to offer some motherly advice and cheer him on and be supportive. 

For me, hockey has always been a love hate relationship because it has taken him away from me but has brought him so much joy and so many life lessons. It has given me some of the greatest memories that I cherish. I am also trying to learn to watch from afar which is hard. I was always there and when I knew he needed that hug from his mom to tell him it'll be ok, I could do that now I can't. The hardest part is not being there in the stands. I know he has his support system there and his grandpa is so proud of him in those stands. I miss our road trips and some long rides home. Now it's turned into messages or phone calls after the games. This is a big adjustment for me too, as it was a big part of my life but now. I will say it is nice to enjoy my time with the other kids and not have the world revolve around hockey.  

This whole experience has prepared me for the next goodbye as I am helping my oldest plan for college now and have time to dedicate to him. I need to enjoy it and he will be gone before I know it. Time goes way to fast and now I know when the boys were tiny and people would say enjoy it, it goes to fast. They were right! I take one day at a time and learning to let go of control and learning to let them fly on their own is an exhausting emotional process. Even if the whole hockey thing doesn’t go as he hopes he’s learning a lot of life lessons. 

There will never be someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you as much as a mother. ALWAYS ! 

Home for the Holidays

Cooper was able to be home for the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was a wonderful time. It was a surprise bonus time we got to have because of Covid and the shutdowns in Minnesota were a bit more extreme than in North Carolina. We enjoyed having him back home and seeing how he has grown up into a young man. The only thing I have disapproved of since he has left has been his taste of music. I am not sure what that is even called.

He was greeted by a wet slobbery kiss and Rocky was so excited to see him he jumped into the van when we got home. 

We were able to go to the zip line park and had a great day!

At first he was doing his laundry and keeping his room picked up but that quickly fell by the wayside but I didn't mind. I just was happy to have him back home and I took care of it again. Give him a break and let him be 14 again and spend time with his brothers and enjoy being home. 

He was able to log into school and be remote. It was just like last year but his year he's got a "real teacher" not mom. 

The shut down up north was frustrating and pushed the hockey season back yet again. Ice rinks closed even outdoor rinks. The gyms were closed again. The great thing for him he didn't lose anytime. He was able to come home and skate here and see some friends. He got to catch up with his old coach a bit. He was on the ice pretty much everyday and met a lot of other people in the same boat who were home from prep schools. We were able to workout together again and go running. I had missed my running buddy and workout partner! It was great to see him so committed. He didn't miss a day of running or working out. It was still nice weather here so he was still able to be outside. Finally the tarp we had hung up in the garage was getting used for hockey pucks. He and his brothers would go out there at night and just hang out. I missed seeing them together! They miss him when he is gone just as much as I do. They loved having him home.

We had a great Christmas together. Finally a Christmas at home. We haven't had that in five years or so. We had always travelled for hockey holiday tournaments in Canada or back to Minnesota for family Christmas. It was a nice relaxed Christmas morning opening gifts and dinner with friends before heading back. 

We had a great time but he is ready to be back. He misses his friends and hockey in Minnesota. That has now become his "home".  His life is up there now. He has made a couple of real close friends. He has learned some hard life lessons at 14 that relationships change over time and some people will always be there for you and some won't. He will find throughout school and hockey relationships are ever changing. You find out who you're true friends are over time.  He has learned so much over this year that will be lessons he will have to learn throughout his life. On top of being a hard year during Covid the adversities he has had to overcome will make him one strong, determined, and mature 14 year old. 

Update

 Just thought I would give an update on my journey through this new chapter...

It has been 3 1/2 months now and one quarter of school in the books as a freshman. I can't even begin to explain how proud I am. He moved into his aunt's house with two elementary aged kids, 1100 miles away from home and his family during a national health pandemic. He had to navigate starting a new school, which was only in session in-person for two days a week, while the other two days a week distance learning at home, make new friends. All while playing hockey, finding rides on his own, working out at the gym 3-4 days a week and navigating being on his own and being responsible for himself. He has learned how to do his own laundry, keep his room clean, sometimes helps his cousins with their homework, make his own food and clean up, and still being dedicated to hockey with shooting pucks and stickhandling when he can. He also has found that he is pretty fast and has been running a lot. I guess he is going to beat me now out on the trails.  I think he has adjusted to the move really good and he loves being in Minnesota. He has met some wonderful kids and made some good friends. He got to play and get in 20 games in the fall and was on the ice 4-5 times a week which was great considering the state of sports right now and he has progressed nicely. He had to adjust to the speed of the game and has gotten used to the size of the kids. It is different then he is used to but all good. Now we wait to see what is going to happen with the High School season.

Then there's me...

I am finding it was a bit harder...I will say when I hear his voice and see him smiling it makes me happy. As long as he's happy I am happy. But I miss him terribly. The first couple weeks, I cried everyday I'm not going to lie. I couldn't sleep and I still have a hard time sleeping soundly. There is just a different vibe in the house and his brothers had to find a new normal without him here. It has gotten a little bit better over time and Facetime helps but it isn't the same. We all knew it was going to be an adjustment but it has been harder for us then him. We have taken turns to go visit. My family is liking the regular trips back home to see family more often. 

I haven't really found a new routine since he's been gone. My life was so scheduled around his hockey and I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing. My oldest is self sufficient and doing online distance learning for high school and my youngest is at school all day everyday. At least my youngest son started Lacrosse and that just finished for the fall and my oldest had baseball for about a month. I went from being a homeschool mom with a busy hockey schedule to laying in bed until noon wondering what I should do for the day. I run 4-5 miles everyday and that's the only thing on my schedule. I am going to have to try to find things to keep me busy again. Maybe like getting back to writing. 

So all is good in Minnesota and all is good in North Carolina. We are making it work so far so good. I am proud of how he has transitioned so well.