Baby Stuff Gone

Jordan Taylor

Jordan

Recently, I had a reminder and realization that I am done carrying babies for nine months, going through pregnancy, watching your body morph into shapes you never knew it could, and the painful yet amazing moment when they place that baby in your arms. It was emotional to think that this part of my life is over. I decided to part with my baby gear and give them to someone who is expecting their first child and they could use it more than my storage space. I have had held onto these things in my life in hopes that I could have another child but knowing in my mind that really wasn't feasible. I was holding onto a part of my life that was over. It was such a beautiful beginning to everything in my life a new marriage and new family! I held onto it because I just wasn't quite sure if I was ready and someone always had told me, you will know when you are done. There would be days I would think about it and I couldn't do it. I just feel like now I could not add that to our family dynamics. We are complete! Jordan completed our circle. The boys have told me on several occasions, they do not want another sibling.

Braedyn 6 months

We all do that don't we. We hold onto things that we don't need to.  We hold onto the past, we hold onto clothes (that one day we will fit into again), we hold onto treasures, we hold onto photos, we hold onto letters and cards, and we hold onto pieces of furniture and we hold onto memories! We hold onto some of those things because they brought us so much happiness and we have those reminders of past excitement and joy. We can also hold onto some unhealthy things such as grudges, painful past, bitterness, regrets, friendships that are not healthy and some sorrow. It is just human nature...not being to let go so easily. At some point in our lives we just to have to let things go. There is no time schedule for this, you will just no when it is time. It's a little nudge from God, you just need to be ready to listen. I know there were many times I would say I will sell that or give it away or I would say am just not ready to forgive that person yet. It's not so much about forgetting it but moving forward. I am moving forward to the next stage in my life...it's always a progression! As a parent you move from, baby-toddler-elementary-middle school-teenager-college-adult!

Cooper

Cooper

Braedyn's first trip to Pumpkin Patch!

I am a person who can't stand clutter and being disorganized but yet I held onto all of this baby and maternity stuff. I knew the time would come one day when I would realize my days of having little babies are gone, but it made me sad to think about that day. I didn't want it to come. I was a person who loved being pregnant and loved the baby stage. Not so much the lack of sleep, walking around in a fog, not remembering what day it was, wondering how great a shower would feel, and the film on my teeth because brushing my teeth was just not on to do list, and a to-do list was nonexistent (that was the best). Going through that stage is so exhausting but it goes by so quickly and before you know it you are sending them off to kindergarten and wonder where the time went. I just love little babies and my babies more than life itself! I have had the opportunity to stay home with all of them and have enjoyed every minute of it. Watching them grow, learn and find out who they are, is amazing and being a mom is the best job in the world. It is a full time job that is the most rewarding job on this earth!  Seeing them take their first steps, first words, first everything! People often ask me what am I going to do with my time when the kids go to school, will you find a job or go back to school. My answer to that is ~ first and for most my job is "mom" that job never ends. It will just allow me to become a more patient mom, a showered mom, and happy mom because I will be able to take that time to get back to that person I was before, finding time to workout, write, read, and my quiet time with the Lord. I will be more of a whole mommy. I would much rather fill my soul than my bank account. Luckily I am blessed with a husband who can do that! I feel like I give 90 percent to the family and 10 to myself. I will be able to help out at school, church and be there for my kids still as they become older, there will be more important issues to deal with. They love having me help out at school. I love it too as some of the kids come up and give me a hug and say, "Hi, Mrs. Jacobson." Although that sometimes makes me also feel old:).

first day of school 2012-13

Most would say bedtime is not their most favorite time of day but for me I would say it's one of my favorite times of the day.  I love watching them sleep so sweet and innocent. At night when everybody is tucked in and it's just me and the boys, I spend quality time with each and everyone of them. I ask them what their favorite part of the day was and what was the worst or hardest part of their day and then we say our prayers. Braedyn goes off to his room to start his reading, I get Cooper ready with his book, and then I go read with Jordan. After reading we may talk a little bit and then I lay next to his toddler bed holding his hand as he falls asleep. I then get to Cooper after he is finished reading for the day and tuck him in and we chat a little bit as he drifts off to sleep. I then go to Braedyn's room and he can be finished with his reading. I ask him about the book has read and then lights off. We lay in the dark and at this time is when I find out about things that have happened throughout the day or things that are his mind that he wants to talk about. I treasure this time and let him open up to me. I want to make sure he knows he can always talk to his momma! If daddy is home for bedtime he does the same with him. We lay together for awhile and he always asks for longer. I try to remind myself at this time the dishes in the sink can wait, the laundry that still needs to be put away and folded can lay on the floor and the backpacks and lunches that need to be packed are still waiting to be filled. That can all wait while I cuddle up with each of them and see them off into their sweet dreams...
When I think about them getting older and leaving for college I start to tear up. I can't even think about that day without getting choked up. I have a long time to wait thank goodness. I think God prepares us for that when the time comes. As parents, we teach them and give them the necessary tools to live on their own and hopefully make the right choices as they make their way in this world. This bible verse that I learned in a parenting sunday school class has always stuck with me.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
~Proverbs 22:6

He knows we are ready to let them go and maybe then we are better prepared to deal with that day.  Right now I will enjoy the fun, tough times and the learning experiences along the way. I can take all the memories with me and just the other day when I was looking at Braedyn and focusing in on his smile and big brown eyes, for a moment it brought me back to that first smile and those eyes that were staring up at me while feeding and realized he still is that little baby but now a little boy and I am so proud of how he has grown and look forward to all the things to yet come.
They all will always be my babies!